oh god the rape fog is back!
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
