hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
