I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
