Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
how drunk are you?
Several
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
