We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
