dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I just blew my weed a kiss
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
