used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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