Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
