just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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