Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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