Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
