one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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