Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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