never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Randomize
