I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
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You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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