The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
