he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
