Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
In other news, I just burned my penis
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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