k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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