New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize