I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
