K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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