Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I touched a dick in church today
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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