Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
