good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
