He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
