yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
