Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
