a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
the liver wants what the liver wants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize