In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
