I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
