no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
