I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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