She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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