My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
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Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
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I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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