i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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