He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
