My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize