omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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