are you still at the devil's house?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
