Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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