OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
he thought i was a dude.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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