i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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