thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
i've created a new STD.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
