ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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