i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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