Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
