My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize