apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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