Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
