if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
