If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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