I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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