Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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