Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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