dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
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