So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
