So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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