I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
