He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
