As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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